Monday, January 26, 2004

Vacation Swim Level 13 - Pass

See! I have swum in clothes before! It is just I have never done it in four layers on the way to work. Today is the start of the horrible winter weather and I am not in the best mood with London.

ONE – why, why, WHY combine rain AND umbrella melting winds? I had been so proud of the little umbrella I bought from home. It had survived the three times I bought it out so far. On Friday it melted before my eyes in the middle of Hatfield Mead. By melted I mean it buckled and curled along all the ribs, and not even just at the joints. I just walked on watching the death agony of my umbrella and decided that the moment they bring out a titanium brolly, I will queue up for it in fine English tradition.

TWO – surprisingly enough London town planners, drains were invented to keep the water OFF the roads. I walked three blocks today from Tube to work cowering against the far limit of the sidewalk so I could miss the meter high tidal waves churned up by the buses driving through the stream that was the road. Even more entertaining are the small dams that forms on cross walks so that if you DO want dry trousers you have to hike down to the end of the small sea, which is usually a blind corner, to cross the road.

THREE – every time I mutter and grumble my way quietly into work, my London-weary work mates simply smirk and promise me that it gets worse. hahahahahahahahahahahaha*shriek*

And so I end my little rant. I now have only one holy mission. To buy a coat that will render me a walking waterproof area of antipodean London. I am envisioning a Michelin-man effect coat that will cover me from hood to boots in attractive plastic puffa material. Either that or I will abandon myself to long plastic raincoats, Wellington boots and fisherman hats. And then I will move to Cornwall. Yes …

So, put your hands in the air if you are dry only when you are not sweating, and let’s enjoy the pleasures of extreme weather shall we?

Much love (it’s a bit wet, you better put it over the radiator)