Skip to main content

The Carnival of Claire

Well, the birthday was a rather fabulous affair actually.

It kicked off with drinks in town on Thursday.



I invited all the best friends – most of whom are regulars at the Pub Quiz each Tuesday. Once everyone was there the night really took off. I was bought Baileys all night and they changed from singles to doubles without me noticing(!) and that is when I got VERY tipsy. Towards 11 o’clock I was very happy and there were many hugs, declarations of love for London and my friends in it, and all such things. Great friends as they are, some enterprising ex-perthites even tried to freak me out by setting up a random man in the bar to say he had met me at the Cott and we had *ahem* locked lips! At first I thought that I was starting to forget faces, but as soon as he tried to claim tonsil hockey I smelt a rat … never done THAT in the Cott.





I was rather blasé about my lack of headache the next morning, and all involved in the buying my drinks scam were a little miffed. There was an amusing flurry of emails from the guests when I told them so:

ORIGINAL MESSAGE – FROM CLAIRE

Fi, Howard, Jacinta, Kim, Matt, Monica and Sue

Thank you all so much for the fabulous night. Thankfully all your combined evil plans failed ...

#1 I may have been a little tipsy but I don't have a headache

#2 I did not believe that phoney 'snog at the Cott' man

#3 I got home without having any embarrassing episodes with night buses, firemen or penguins

I was forced to reign in the more enthusiastic of them:

ORIGINAL MESSAGE – FROM CLAIRE

I pose the question - who needs enemies when you have friends like these?

*slightly strained grin*

MONICA:

Extract from Email 1: I still say we have to try harder next time. Less milk. More alcohol. A funnel.

Extract from Email 2: This stuff'll be ready for next year's Claire-intoxication mission.

Extract from Email 3: And more convincing (and less lecherous) "snog at the Cott" men...

HOWARD:

Extract from Email 1: Can't believe it, no head ache?!! You have now set down a challenge. he he he!

Extract from Email 2: Kim > "Claire is now feeling the effects"
Yes! big cheer! Challenge completed in record time, well done Kim!

KIM:

Extract from Email 1: damn ... next time we'll get you triples. :-)

Extract from Email 2: I can proudly declare that Claire is now feeling the effects from last night. She may not have had a headache earlier, but we just had lunch at the local "boat pub" with the fire brigade rescue boat speeding past creating some nasty waves. Claire left looking a little pale...

Friday night was SUPPOSED to be quiet but I was feeling so good Jacinta, Kim and I headed out to inigo in Clapham, my favourite club in London. I was completely sober but danced until I wore holes in my shoes.



The three of us met up in town again Saturday night intending to see a show and instead got to see the New Zealanders celebrating Waitangi Day and halting all the traffic in Parliament Square with the haka.



Browsing through the cheap tickets booths we decided to give the show a miss and go drinking. So we went to an Aussie bar in Covent Garden and proceeded to indulge in the £7.50 jugs of cocktails.



7 jugs and 14 drinks later we were excessively hammered. We talked to some very nice boys … hmmm … can’t quite remember …







What I do remember is Kim going home and Jacinta and I going on to a club and having a very good dance in a very skanky club until the wee hours!



Sunday was the last day of the Carnival - Kim and I took the train out to Cambridge.



We did a lightening tour of the colleges, which were so different to Oxford as to make them just as good, and then we had a mini pub-crawl, including ostrich meat burgers, Baileys hot chocolates and cake – what else does a girl need?



I slept for 12 hours Sunday night. A great birthday all up.

Popular posts from this blog

Textbook

Trust me, they know the climate science Let’s imagine for a moment that the 1% of Australia, with their university degrees, access to the best climate science and neoliberal think tank papers and their dominance in politics, were acting in rational self-interest. They know that the water and energy wars are coming and they have a country with unique assets: No land borders Renewable energy resources Space and minerals Industries that specialise in extracting minerals Industries that can be turned to R&D and manufacturing An education system to get citizens to the point of carrying out necessary R&D And a politically apathetic population that believes whatever the politicians tell them through monopolised and crippled information outlets. To be honest, if I were a conservative politician in Australia (and the way I was brought up, I may as well be), this is what I would do to ensure my political and social survival: I would claim the government didn’t believe i

Full Contact Origami

When I was a secretary at ADI, spending my days: a) writing up tutorials for my Uni course, b) having countless running email conversations with workmates and Kristen in Canberra, and c) not really doing anything I had a vast word file of all the jokes I had ever received. I am sure I have it SOMEWHERE in my box of important papers, but this one, recently sent to me again, was one of my all time favourites. I use the phrase ‘full contact origami’ all the time, usually during my ‘torment a barfly’ routine during which I tell sozzled Lotharios that I am a retired World Bootscooting champion who is looking to move into acting in karaoke video clips and was born on Ayers rock because my mum wanted me to channel Azaria Chamberlain’s spirit. Blessed are the jokers, because they will get mates rates at the bar in heaven. The following was published in The New York Times. This is a NYU college admissions application essay question, and an actual answer written by an applicant: Qu