Skip to main content

Yes thanks, I am being served ...

I have a new job.

It is one of those jobs that make you wonder what you did the night before to deserve it. The tube ride is a relaxing 40 minutes from door to door, including trains that ran on time and uncrowded carriages of good looking men in suits. Exiting the tube I am met by the clean, green scent of the breeze off Green Park, the route to work taking me through the quiet streets of St James past shops that sell that indefinable edge that makes the posh and rich look right.

The office is serene and elegant; wood panelling, original artwork, lush carpets, silver service, three butlers, a wine cellar and a corporate curator. My own office has two windows, an armchair and brass plate on the door that is shiny enough to check my reflection in. There is a full cooked lunch each day in the dining room and I am already in possession of complimentary tickets to exhibitions that employees are entitled to.

This is the kind of job I imagined London to be able to offer, but I did not realise that I could get into it without an interview and still get paid for it. The crowning glory of my new position is that I support an Australian woman, which means I finally have a boss that understands my working style and ethic.

I think I may be forced to stop whining about London now.

Popular posts from this blog

Textbook

Trust me, they know the climate science Let’s imagine for a moment that the 1% of Australia, with their university degrees, access to the best climate science and neoliberal think tank papers and their dominance in politics, were acting in rational self-interest. They know that the water and energy wars are coming and they have a country with unique assets: No land borders Renewable energy resources Space and minerals Industries that specialise in extracting minerals Industries that can be turned to R&D and manufacturing An education system to get citizens to the point of carrying out necessary R&D And a politically apathetic population that believes whatever the politicians tell them through monopolised and crippled information outlets. To be honest, if I were a conservative politician in Australia (and the way I was brought up, I may as well be), this is what I would do to ensure my political and social survival: I would claim the government didn’t believe i

Full Contact Origami

When I was a secretary at ADI, spending my days: a) writing up tutorials for my Uni course, b) having countless running email conversations with workmates and Kristen in Canberra, and c) not really doing anything I had a vast word file of all the jokes I had ever received. I am sure I have it SOMEWHERE in my box of important papers, but this one, recently sent to me again, was one of my all time favourites. I use the phrase ‘full contact origami’ all the time, usually during my ‘torment a barfly’ routine during which I tell sozzled Lotharios that I am a retired World Bootscooting champion who is looking to move into acting in karaoke video clips and was born on Ayers rock because my mum wanted me to channel Azaria Chamberlain’s spirit. Blessed are the jokers, because they will get mates rates at the bar in heaven. The following was published in The New York Times. This is a NYU college admissions application essay question, and an actual answer written by an applicant: Qu