Monday, May 14, 2012

The Voice Live Blog - Team Seal and Team Delta

My fabulous American Pastry Chef Housemate, the awesome Kevin, has left the building and I miss our three-hour conversations, his cooking and the fact that you find out something new about him each time you talk to him. Kevin and I watched The Voice together and I promised to Live Blog on Facebook the episodes that he was missing by not being in the country. Seal tells me that ‘you're never going to survive (without Kevin) unless you get a little crazy’, so let's get this crazy Live Blogging party started ...

The judges are singing - Joel in white sleeveless vest, Seal in a grey suit, Keith in grey marle t-shirt with drum kit print and Delta with braids and bronze sequinned long flowy gown. They are singing 'Sing' from My Chemical Romance. Why.

Talking to the Judges as they settle in their red thrones, Seal is stroking everyone's ego and being messianic, Joel wants an Australian passport, Delta is being vague and Keith well, he was just cute.

Seal's sweet sixteen year old is singing Empire State of Mind, her skirt is made of Mr Snuffaluffagus. Over singing. Joel now wants to be back in New York, despite his desire to be Australian, Delta wants to buy her record of Covers, Keith said something nice. Seal thinks she is diamond, although made of feathers.

AdoROCKable Matt from Team Delta is doing White Noise and he is dirtying it up like a pro. He has ‘The Look’ on - black blazer, white shirt and jeans. Beautiful transitions from dirt to power to purr back to dirt. Keith said nothing, Delta (IS SO FAKE TANNED, why does it match her dress? The Fug Girls would call her Tanorexic today. Also, they have rules about matching one's dress to one's FAKE coloured skin) says something, nothing from Seal and Joel, they must have edited out some boring comments.

Next up from Team Seal, the girl with the tremendous voice has been told to be more accessible by Mr Charisma. She sounds divine and looks brilliant because she has been finally styled well, taken out of her prints and boleros but put lazily in black. Whoops, I just got goosebumps, very Joss Stone. Joel said she had more soul than a sneaker shop. Joel, I think the passport is yours. Seal made love to her with his voice and words, as usual. Then Seal made love to his girl in a close embrace too. He is getting around.

Then a quick behind the scenes look at Team Seal with boys getting their hair straightened and the Team singing 'Where is the Love' and the Team saying Seal gives them all 'so much love.' Ads show Seal is giving a soul-baring interview to A Current Affair about what he had been going through in the last few months. So much Seal Love going out to Australia.

DELTA CHOSE A NEW DIRECTION SONG FOR BEN BENNETT, the young blond with the sweat patches (they DO keep on using that clip). Lordy, he is all in pink. PINK! One Direction is really quite boring, even with his sweet voice. Why the hell didn't she choose another song? Delta, Delta, Delta, that fake tan is killing brain cells. SO MANY SCREAMING GIRLFANS. Keith was singing along and he thought the song was catchy. Darling Keith. Delta thinks Ben is a tree, and she feels like a proud mother. At least Ben didn't inherit her FAKE complexion/barklike skin.

Team Seal's pretty little construction worker is up next singing Got To Get You Into My Life in a supercute traindriver's cap and narrow black tie and black suit. He ain't moving much from the microphone - move boy, I bet you have some great moves. Cute, but not outrageous. Joel is bonding with him, reckons that he and Michael have a lot in common and has decided that Michael was a Temptation in a previous life. Seal is being FUCKING SEAL and coming up with these off-the-cuff analogies that get out of hand.

Team Delta's Singing Teacher is doing a bloody good job, but in her Vox Pop sections she can't get over how her age is her advantage, because everyone else is too young. I hate to break it to you darls, but young is so hot right now. She is singing and working it, but all a little Drunk-Bride-At-Karaoke. Also, there is a Wind Machine for her and her Bangs. Like I said, Karaoke Stylings.

The SuperCute Sam from Team Seal is in an open check shirt and playing his own guitar. Bloody beautiful and interesting singer with beautiful soul injections into a cute song. What a face, what a smile ... BINGO, taking the microphone and dancing with the guitar slung across him. Silly pants though. Now THAT was a concert performance. Joel does not think Sam will have problems getting laid, which Joel decided he got from hanging out with Seal. Seal thinks he is hungry. Joel thinks a hungry tiger. Tiger Sam from Team Seal is Hungry.

The Russian is singing Delta (and my) favourite Bang Bang and her accent is phenomenal with the song. Wet-look sequinned black dress, great hair, awesome interpretation with a truly terrific - as in 'inspiring terror in one's ears' - voice. Joel doesn't get what he just saw, alas. Delta is a little overcome with Victoria's Movie Star Quality and ability to Tell A Story. My favourite female performance so far.

The Other Sebastian is up now, and his hair is really annoying. Someone get him a Hair Intervention, specifically to do with Gel Use. Singing Without You is going quite well, but he has this studio voice that is just not making it in concert. I am bored, sorry Other Sebastian.

Delta's Backup Singer is learning to be a Star singing Heaven Knows. Keith is sitting sideways in his chair singing along. There is clapping from the audience and some swaying pirate-style earrings in his ears under his hat. I'm sure the singing is fine. Keith got teary, and he is manly enough to admit it. Mutual admiration club between Glenn and Delta, they got super mushy. He got a grope in at Delta's waist and is working the judges - what a schmoozer!

The Girl That Moved Seal is coming on stage. Make him dance for us again Emma Louise! MAKE HIM DANCE. She singing Aretha Franklin with some epic Aretha Hair that is WAY too old for her sweet young face, and the dress with the cape? What where they thinking? The styling is making her voice sound too light - if they had gone short and girly that voice would seem to explode out of her. And Seal is just standing, not dancing. SING BETTER Emma Louise! Joel is overcome with great Australian women and being in her eyeline. And now it is revealed that Seal DID dance and I may have missed it when I was typing. Why is my life so hard?

That divine girl with the troublesome eyes is going to sing Hands in the most divine dress yet to hit the stage. She is so pretty and her lower registers are just magical. I think the performance speaks for itself. Joel gets the soundbyte in that it was the perfect final performance. Delta got all powerful and angelic.

The End.

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