Monday, June 04, 2012

The Voice Live Blog - Team Joel and Team Keith

My Live Blogging of The Voice has changed in the last four weeks and become a different animal altogether. From the second week I had lurkers interjecting occasionally, in the third week the comments were shaping some of my answers and this week the Live Blogging went the way of Joel's hair and became a herd of cats from Perth and Glasgow. But I would like to preserve the fun times, so here is the transcript, only lightly edited. Ah, and language warnings for my own writing.

Claire wishes she could have tonight's Live Blog for Kevin, Alicia, Marlee and Iain read out by a Voice Over Artist to get the excitement really up there! I presume Keith and Joel will be performing - I am so looking forward to this!

Iain Im in a pub in Glasgow waiting with bated breath!
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Claire You are the best!

Marlee keith's turn to be orange!
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Claire Seal and Keith are in black, JOEL IS IN THREE ANIMAL PRINTS: in tiger striped hair, cheetah print t-shirt and leopard print jacket (both in shiny satin), and Delta in some kind of pale pink tailored affair, I will keep you updated as I see more. Keith is curled up in the chair with his feet on the seat (they showed the clip of him and his Calvin's again, Praise the Lord!)

Claire Oh Iain, well done! Rachel is in. Glenn takes her across to the winners side, lovely man. Delta tells them that she loves them, she is talking to all of them blah blah blah, sweet but she is rambling and she gives Glenn a rather strange backhand compliment. AND then she sends him through! Delta, you confuse me with your rambling. The two losing women hug, one in glittery red and one in glittery green and it is NOT Christmas for them. Rachel is VERY calm, a little overwhelmed I think.

Claire The Other Sebastian's face is freaking me out. KARISE IS IN with the Australian vote, well done Australia. Seal is getting all Mystical and Life Coach-y and he is likening Emma-Louise's overall talent to Nicole and Cate. He is going to save Australia from themselves and MAKE Australia love Fatai. Thank goodness for us Seal is here to save us, eh?
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Iain Yay for Rachel! I wish I could see Darren sing tonight, he's another favourite!
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Marlee emma louise! And now the fluro studs. Who and what the hell? TWEEN!
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Alicia I will be tuning in in an hour, my love for master chef is more than the voice
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Claire Prinnie is in the most extraordinary outfit every single colour and style piled onto her and her five backup singers. She still looks fab, and she is working within her dancing limits, which I really like. And her Voice is lovely and clean, no silly theatrics trying to be Beyonce. Keith is, um, stop putting your leg up you lovely creature, and he gives a hilarious compliment. Joel manages to get about a million quotes from a desk diary into his reaction and likens her to his own awesome self about five times. Even the Host has been given a standard script to use for each person. It sounds like the Host has been written a tighter (and therefore a much less natural) script to use. Iain, Delta's dress is a pale pink strapless drapy number that does nothing for her bust, and her hair is straight. She looks delightful, but you ain't missing much.

Claire ‎Marlee - yes, very tween, ridiculously age inappropriate, but I think she sold it because she has the figure for it, the song was at the right pitch for the loud clothes and it was actually choreographically appropriate - you could see she could move in it. I liked Emma-Louise too, but Seal must see something in Fatai ... See you SOON Alicia.
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Claire Diana Rouvas is up next singing I Can't Make You Love Me and I am just going to sit and soak up that voice. Seal is closing his eyes, Keith looks as if he is going to cry and the stylist finally got it FUCKING RIGHT with a dress that does everything that it should. She is barely moving and moving everyone with just her singing. That was a extraordinary performance. Delta would watch her sing a million songs. I would too. Keith picked the best song for her. Seal needs to talk and Seal is happy we (Australia) got to see her and I am with you finally Seal. I don't think anyone can really find a compliment to top the actually performance. Keith got a very precise and concise compliment out, well done Coach!

Marlee dayum! She was so good, and that dress was amaze.
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Claire Ick, Edward Cullen / Robert Pattinson is up next - and it is like they KNOW you are out of the country Iain and they are not playing the silly swisse ads.

Iain Noopo, I'll always miss Delta. Not the comments, just the body and face. ;-) That twilight guy needs a serious beating..
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Claire The dress was several kinds of amazing actually. I liked her hair also. I am going to go out on a limb and say SHE is going to go far. Did anyone see the Hamish and Andy Gap Year ad? Keep an eye on Hamish's shorts next time ... oh god, that boy is ... nnnnnnnoooooooooooo he is dressed as Marlon Brando in On The Waterfront. I am going to hit someone ...

Marlee no! he is sweet! and i like the song...
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Marlee that was better, kind of....
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Claire ‎Marlee - I am going to pretend you are under the influence of your Screaming Girl gene which is closer to the surface because of your extreme youth or something. He is doing okay. I don't want to hit him, just a Screaming Girl maybe. Seal adores him. God preserve all the Screaming Girls, he ended with a kind of non-threatening vocal orgasm. Keith likes the song choice and his unique style. Oh dear, Seal thinks he is 'discovering' Lakyn. Joel was short and supportive. Please Australia, let him go back to skating.
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Marlee ugh! News report! Lets paint anyone who does graffit as perverts and weapon experts! Lolz. Yep, i agree - i am prearetly a screaming gurl fan
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Marlee swisse ldn ad....
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Claire AWESOME! You are such a Screaming Fangurl you put about five more letters into pretty! HOW DOPE IS THAT NEW SWISSE AD?
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Marlee secretly**
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Claire hahahahahaha, no way, I thought you were trying to type pretty much**

Marlee lol claire! Where did you pick dope up? U so street
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Claire I am so street. Beaufort Street. Syllables Packaged Up For Your Female Progenitor.
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Alicia Claire what happened to sebastian?

Claire I fucking love Straight Lines. Why is the Polite Blonde doing it? I hope she fucking turns it up. No, No, Keith, No. Maybe. No. Nooooooooooooooooo. It's like she did NOT take her Swisse today and took Valium instead. I refuse to report more on that. Alicia, The Other Sebastian is out.

Marlee Bad hair for this one.

Alicia I love Joel's hair tonight. Keith Urban has more highlights in his hair than Delta!

Claire Delta totally gave the RIGHT comment and said she didn't bring it, and Joel chastised the booing crowd by reminding them that the coaches are there to correct and admonish. I like it that Joel is awake and ready to perform, he is arcing up for his performance. Keith is being all warm and 'fabulous uncle'.

Iain Is that red haired chick singing tonight?
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Claire Keith's hair almost blended in with Britters hair. I think Keith went to his hairdresser and the hairdresser was all 'so, you are going to Oustraaaalia, you need to be all Oussie Surfer' and went overboard. Big Red is up tonight darls, how is Glasgow at the moment?

Iain Love big red. Glasgow is good so far. Cheap booze and the weathers been good as well. Off to St. Andrews on Wednesday..
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Marlee Also more tanned.....
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Claire Team Joel are singing Dancefloor Anthem with the Animal Printed Pop Prince! Hello Ben, nice to see your pretty face again and Lakyn is, well, it turns out I like Lakyn doing Pop-Rock in that laidback style because he looks as if he is making fun of the exuberance of the lyrics. Big Red looks like she should be in a Manga Cartoon. Seal is pumping the air (maybe Australia?) Prinnie has Pop Art on her dress. All the pairs are singing to each other with absolutely no chemistry. That was fun. Too much jumping up and down.

Claire ‎Marlee - I think Keith saw ALL his Beauty Practioners for a TOP UP. Doing a Shane Warne.

Marlee Fix up, look sharp

Claire I hope he is not a Tanorexic.

Marlee Wow inside goss, apparently this Adam fellow is getting it on with Emma louise!

Alicia If this is shy boy he has come out of his shell! I love the guitar work and he is singing brilliantly!
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Claire That sweet boy of Keith's is doing Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straits and that adorable voice of his is like Lakyn's will be when Lakyn gets better. He has scored with Emma-Louise? Well done both of them. That was okay, not as good as Lonely Boy. He is SO much more confident tonight - maybe the Emma-Louise factor? Also, can I point out the correlation that Seal thought Emma-Louise was like Nicole and she is getting it on with some from Team Keith. You make me happy, Marlee, with your gossip. Keith and Delta really dig Adam.
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Claire I am ridiculously fond of that Swisse Ad now - I want the song. Christ. Adam wants a girl who loves reading. Where did they find this boy and where do I get one that is OLDER???? BIG RED IS UP NOW Iain.
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Marlee Yeahhhhhhh Whitney !!!!!

Iain Go big red! Send her my details and I'll take care of her.... ;-)
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Claire Sarah is singing Whitney's How Will I Know in a fabulous gold top (this week's stylist is addicted to SHINY) How Will She Know You Really Love Her Iain? She is a great looking girl, and she is delivering what we want. Delta is up and dancing and that dress of hers makes her look even curvier than usual, she looks huggable. Sarah has SWAG at the end of her performance. Delta wanted to get into her pyjamas with her girlfriends and dance around her room and thought it was a Pop Moment. Joel is ready to let Sarah out of the cage (reowr) and the Tybalt of The Voice is looking so damn proud of his little Bratz Doll.
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Marlee O man, that was so

Marlee Good!!
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Marlee Swagswagswagswagswagswag

Claire WAGS. Iain, Darren is singing Stevie Wonder. This should be good.

Claire Darren. You are wonderful.
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Claire FUCKING HELL. DARREN!
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Alicia Omg that performance was like on so you think you dance where they had to dance for their life. Darren just sang for his life. He croons! He is amazing! I reckon he would have the ladies throwing underwear at him.
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Marlee Lol Keith Urban

Alicia Ps Keith's pants r tight!!!!
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Claire That was my favourite piece of TV so far from The Voice. Better than Seal Dancing, Better than Keith's Calvins. All the judges were dancing, all the crowd is still screaming and they are stamping on the ground. Keith feels everyone got Baptised and the atheists are confused. NICE CALL. Keith is on fire tonight. Darren for the FUCKING WIN! I think Keith's pants could be tighter.
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Iain I want to be in Sarah's pants with Delta. I hope Darren knocks it out of the park. He has a great voice...
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Claire Iain, you NEED to get onto the website and watch Darren sing STAT. The man is going places. He was unbelievable.

Alicia Darren wishes that there was something like the voice 20 years ago! I hope that he keeps on going through and that his age doesn't get in the way
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Claire It is his experience that is making him so good. First silly swisse ad with Delta and the Black Horse for the night. Boobs for Iain.

Alicia Ewwwww keiths pants being tighter
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Claire Hello Ben.

Iain Delta, I love you. Darren is awesome, I'll buy his album. I'll have a look on the website when I get a chance..
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Alicia This is going to be a good performance now as well, it is a good song choice for ben
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Claire Ben is singing I'm With You. Yup. I'm with him. Okay, so I like it, but I know Seal is not going to. He is still not sure to do with his body on stage. He is good with the camera. And the end is another Vocal Fangurl-gasm. And a Joel-gasm too from the look on Joel's face. And now Delta is having a Delta-gasm. Joel has told Ben that he went from boy to man. Seal called the song a girl's song. Seal. Seal.

Marlee Lol @ 'it's a girls song.'

Claire Not a Seal-gasm. I don't think Seal has a Seal-gasm with girls, only with himself. Seal-gasm.

Claire Team Keith with I'm In - apparently a world hit. Of course I have never heard a Keith Urban song in my life. Darren. Darren. Keith a little bit. But mainly Darren. And I like Brittany because her voice is actually good for this style of song. Maybe she will go Country? Country is totally big in America. Keith is such an adorable singer. Men with guitars. WE ARE IN WITH YOU TOO KEITHBABY!

Claire Thank you Team Live Blogging, Iain in a Glasgow Pub totally not getting into a fight until after Darren sang, Marlee and her Screaming Fangurl gene leavening my disgust, Alicia for prioritising her night but still joining us, and I hope you are happy to be back home Kevin. Seal has sexually assaulted the Host. Keith needs a lie down. I need to work out how the hell I am going to edit this to make it make sense on my blog. Next week guys, next week!

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