I like to buck the trend, I don’t like Fridays. I don’t like Fridays because I love my workmates.
Monday
*burp* “Guess which end? That was a lost fart. I can sing through my bum. If you ever want a demonstration, tell me.”
Tuesday
*Workmate with Manflu drinking a can of Coke*
Manflu to Workmate 1: “Did you want a drink?”
Workmate 1: “No thanks, especially if you licked around the rim.”
Workmate 2: “If that’s what you’re into …”
Workmate 1: “Don’t you use a straw for that?”
“Have you ever drunk hot Milo with a straw? It makes it hotter. You have to have warm Milo to make it work.”
*Workmate with lost look on their face*
Workmate: “I had a can of Coke, and now I don’t.”
Me: “Do you drink it with a straw?”
Workmate: “No, it makes it too fast and my brain gets bubbly.”
Wednesday
Investigation officers, awful-cers or orifices?
Thursday
*thoughtful eating of blueberry muffins throughout the department*
Me: “There is nothing that can't be solved with food around here.”
Workmate: “Except the loud toilet paper noises.”
Friday
*reading excerpt from CV*
“January 2008 – December 2010
The Perc Cafe
Barrister
Key Tasks: waitressing, making coffee”
Workmate: “You're hired, you're funny.”
Monday
*burp* “Guess which end? That was a lost fart. I can sing through my bum. If you ever want a demonstration, tell me.”
Tuesday
*Workmate with Manflu drinking a can of Coke*
Manflu to Workmate 1: “Did you want a drink?”
Workmate 1: “No thanks, especially if you licked around the rim.”
Workmate 2: “If that’s what you’re into …”
Workmate 1: “Don’t you use a straw for that?”
“Have you ever drunk hot Milo with a straw? It makes it hotter. You have to have warm Milo to make it work.”
*Workmate with lost look on their face*
Workmate: “I had a can of Coke, and now I don’t.”
Me: “Do you drink it with a straw?”
Workmate: “No, it makes it too fast and my brain gets bubbly.”
Wednesday
Investigation officers, awful-cers or orifices?
Thursday
*thoughtful eating of blueberry muffins throughout the department*
Me: “There is nothing that can't be solved with food around here.”
Workmate: “Except the loud toilet paper noises.”
Friday
*reading excerpt from CV*
“January 2008 – December 2010
The Perc Cafe
Barrister
Key Tasks: waitressing, making coffee”
Workmate: “You're hired, you're funny.”
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