Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

Inspired by the discovery of Normal Moments in Art History With No Murder and with paintings provided by Ariel, I have created a little tribute to some of the Murderous Ladies of Western Art History.

Best moment: Representing my School at Debating
Future Plans: Winning more Debates

what is for dinner?
did you buy the shampoo I like?
how could you leave the house in that?
Your mum’s kinda quiet …

Now just get that back to the bench and I’ll get everything else. Start prepping it for the stock, but pluck all the hair.
Gary hates hair in stock and I want to win this challenge.

I tried one bell, then three bells, but she just kept bringing them back. She loves playing with them, I guess. It’s in her nature. And she does keep them out of the house as well, so that's good.

He told me I was spending too much time on Pinterest. He told me he wanted me to spend more time with him. I split the diff.

he was crying and begging

mine too!

anyway, he was crying and I felt the tears fall and kinda moisturise my hand

let’s see

see, really smooth

wow, that feels fantastic

I found myself wondering what would happen if I bathed in tears, y'know?

Comments

Textbook

Trust me, they know the climate science Let’s imagine for a moment that the 1% of Australia, with their university degrees, access to the best climate science and neoliberal think tank papers and their dominance in politics, were acting in rational self-interest. They know that the water and energy wars are coming and they have a country with unique assets: No land borders Renewable energy resources Space and minerals Industries that specialise in extracting minerals Industries that can be turned to R&D and manufacturing An education system to get citizens to the point of carrying out necessary R&D And a politically apathetic population that believes whatever the politicians tell them through monopolised and crippled information outlets. To be honest, if I were a conservative politician in Australia (and the way I was brought up, I may as well be), this is what I would do to ensure my political and social survival: I would claim the government didn’t believe i...

Full Contact Origami

When I was a secretary at ADI, spending my days: a) writing up tutorials for my Uni course, b) having countless running email conversations with workmates and Kristen in Canberra, and c) not really doing anything I had a vast word file of all the jokes I had ever received. I am sure I have it SOMEWHERE in my box of important papers, but this one, recently sent to me again, was one of my all time favourites. I use the phrase ‘full contact origami’ all the time, usually during my ‘torment a barfly’ routine during which I tell sozzled Lotharios that I am a retired World Bootscooting champion who is looking to move into acting in karaoke video clips and was born on Ayers rock because my mum wanted me to channel Azaria Chamberlain’s spirit. Blessed are the jokers, because they will get mates rates at the bar in heaven. The following was published in The New York Times. This is a NYU college admissions application essay question, and an actual answer written by an applicant: Qu...

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