Skip to main content

Here be Dragons (laughing to live)

Dragons.

It was a cool, fine day in Perth. I was out swimming at Inglewood. Suddenly a black cloud covered the sun. Everyone looked up and saw a big green dragon. I looked up and saw a yellow belly coming towards me with its black claws ready to grab. I thought that since dragons like pretty ladies, he was going to take Sarah or Astrid. He stopped and said in a kind, dragonlike way, "Which one of you knows the funniest jokes?" Sarah and Astrid pointed to me. The claw came down and scooped me up and flew up. One minute I was in my bathers, the next minute I was in a long, silky, purple skirt and a wide green silk blouse. I had green shoes. My hair was dry, permed and held back with an Amethyst and Emerald tiara. I asked the dragon where we were going and he answered, "I am taking you to my land where the King can't laugh." He sighed then continued, "We tried every funny joke we knew but they just made him sad or angry. I set out to find a person who knew the most jokes. When I saw you I knew you were the one. There was silence, then I said "My name is Claire and I am fifteen." The dragon replied "My name is Merlin and I am a thousand and fifty." Suddenly we were in the court of the King. Merlin said, "Claire there are four hours til our King dies from lack of laughter, we are relaying on you." I nodded and went to the King, courtesied and started to tell him lots of jokes. After three and a half hours I shrugged my shoulders then I said "How did Jack defeat the Giant?" The King shrugged. I replied, " With his bean" I didn't get it, but to everyone's surprise the King roared with laughter. Then everyone cried "Goodbye Claire and Thankyou!" I suddenly woke up on the floor of the swimming pool's office with people rushing around calling for a doctor for me. I smiled and said under my breathe "My Pleasure Merlin." and looked around for Mum.

THE END

Written in 1991, for Yr 5 Creative Writing

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Textbook

Trust me, they know the climate science Let’s imagine for a moment that the 1% of Australia, with their university degrees, access to the best climate science and neoliberal think tank papers and their dominance in politics, were acting in rational self-interest. They know that the water and energy wars are coming and they have a country with unique assets: No land borders Renewable energy resources Space and minerals Industries that specialise in extracting minerals Industries that can be turned to R&D and manufacturing An education system to get citizens to the point of carrying out necessary R&D And a politically apathetic population that believes whatever the politicians tell them through monopolised and crippled information outlets. To be honest, if I were a conservative politician in Australia (and the way I was brought up, I may as well be), this is what I would do to ensure my political and social survival: I would claim the government didn’t believe i...

Full Contact Origami

When I was a secretary at ADI, spending my days: a) writing up tutorials for my Uni course, b) having countless running email conversations with workmates and Kristen in Canberra, and c) not really doing anything I had a vast word file of all the jokes I had ever received. I am sure I have it SOMEWHERE in my box of important papers, but this one, recently sent to me again, was one of my all time favourites. I use the phrase ‘full contact origami’ all the time, usually during my ‘torment a barfly’ routine during which I tell sozzled Lotharios that I am a retired World Bootscooting champion who is looking to move into acting in karaoke video clips and was born on Ayers rock because my mum wanted me to channel Azaria Chamberlain’s spirit. Blessed are the jokers, because they will get mates rates at the bar in heaven. The following was published in The New York Times. This is a NYU college admissions application essay question, and an actual answer written by an applicant: Qu...